Giving hope to the bereaved

Robert Beauchamp and his wife Nicole Robidoux.

Yves Belanger
Journal Servir
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Created in 2006 by the Canadian Forces Morale and Welfare Services, the HOPE program offers confidential support to bereaved families through peer volunteers who have experienced the same type of ordeal.

It allows bereaved people to better understand the grieving process and helps reduce the sense of isolation that often accompanies it.

Since 2009, Robert Beauchamp and his wife Nicole Robidoux have been among these volunteers. Two years earlier, their son Nicolas died while on a mission in Afghanistan.

For Robert Beauchamp, helping parents going through the same ordeal is a way to cope with his grief.

“Among other things, it allows me to make sense of what happened to my son.”

Beauchamp explains that as soon as a CAF member dies, the spouse and parents are informed about the program.

“People then decide whether or not they feel the need to use this free service.”

The volunteer goes on to ensure that conversations with peers remain strictly confidential.

“We have to report to those in charge of the program on how these people are doing and talk about their progress in the stages of mourning. However, the content of the discussions is never disclosed.”

The accompaniment continues for as long as the bereaved person wishes; the longest Robert Beauchamp has ever done was about 16 months. It was a father whose child had committed suicide.

“This man felt a lot of anger. One day, after several discussions, he told me that he understood that it was better to direct his energy towards the people around him rather than rehash his dark thoughts. I was so happy to see his evolution.”

Beauchamp explains that the loss of a child creates a wound
that never heals.

“It’s not in the nature of things to outlive your children. The pain remains present. However, you learn to soften it up and live with it.”

For him, the best way to get through this ordeal was and still is to recall good memories with his late son.

“Instead of emphasizing the loss of this child, I prefer to go about it in a positive way. It helps me move forward.”

The main role of the HOPE program volunteers is to support the bereaved.

“We are not interveners. We are here to listen to what they have to say and to help them understand the different stages of grief.”

It is by sharing stories and perspectives, as well as offering new options that they are able to give hope to their peers.

“At the moment, the program is aimed at parents and spouses. I would love that one day services could also be offered to brothers and sisters. My second son was very close to Nicolas and would have greatly benefited from such a program,” concludes Beauchamp.

If you would like to receive peer support, contact the HOPE-ESPOIR Program Manager at 1-800-883-6094 or HOPE-ESPOIR@forces.gc.ca. For more details: cafconnection.ca/National/Programs-Services/For-Families-of-the-Fallen/HOPE-Program.aspx

Become a volunteer for the HOPE program

If you have lost a loved one who served in the Canadian Armed Forces and have gone through the grieving process, you may be able to volunteer. You will need to take training on the HOPE program and be emotionally prepared to listen to peers going through the same situation.

By getting involved, you will join a supportive community and make a positive difference in someone’s life.

Information: 1-800-883-6094 or HOPE-ESPOIR@forces.gc.ca

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