Gnaval Gnome is coming home

Lookout (LO): Gnaval Gnome, it’s good to hear from you again, thank you for ‘phoning in to do this interview. What is it you’re up to?

Gnaval Gnome (GG): Lately I’m quite the gnomadic gnome. As you may already gknow, I was recently posted out to Halifax, “Warden of the Gnorth”, and am now making my way back to Esquimalt, visiting gnaval establishments in various cities as I cross the country. I’ve visited so many cities, you might call me a “Metro-gnome”. There’s some gneat shots of my adventures on my Facebook page.

LO: Metro-gnome…I see what you did there. What was the highlight of your journey so far?

GG: I’d have to say it was the day I spent standing in for the Commander of the RCN while visiting the Gnational Defence Headquarters in Ottawa.

LO: As it’s our nation’s capital…

GG: Gnation’s…

LO: As it’s our capital, were you exposed to a lot of politics while in Ottawa?

GG: Zoiks, but politics can be confusing. You really have to listen. For instance, there’s all this talk about a pipeline between Alberta and B.C. But I thought they said “Pie Plane”, and that Alberta was planning to fly delicious desserts out to us.

LO: Hmm…

GG: And in Manitoba, I visited the Mint where all the money is made. My uncle, Habakkuk Gnome, retired from the Mint when they stopped producing pennies. He said his job just made no cents after that.

LO: With all your years in the Navy, do you enjoy travelling?

GG: Very much so. For this trip, I purchased a gnew pelican case. I tell you what, though, whoever invented those things gnever tried putting a live pelican in one…it is gnot easy!

LO: But you’re on your way back west. What will you be doing when you get out here?

GG: When I get back to the west coast, I’ll be participating in the Defence on the Dock event down at Ogden Point on Sunday 30 September. It promises to be an amazing day, showcasing all manner of gnifty aspects of the CAF and RCN, with a lot of fun activities! I encourage all your readers to get out for that with their families.

LO: Well, we’ll all look forward to seeing you there. I understand you’ve been travelling out of the country lately?

GG: Well yes, that’s the only way one can get out of the country….by travelling….

LO:  Er, yes. So where did you go?

GG: I went to support the Wounded Warriors Battlefield Bike Ride 2018, from Sarajevo in Bosnia to Zagreb in Croatia.

LO: Are you an avid cyclist?

GG: Am I an avid cyclist? Is a shackle of anchor cable gninety feet long? Oh my yes, I remember the first time I saw a bicycle wheel…well, it spoke to me. But I’ve had a bad experience lately with a bike that seemed to do everything it could to make riding unpleasant…it was a vicious cycle.

LO: And how did you find Bosnia and Croatia?

GG: It was easy; when I got off the plane, there they were.

LO: No, I mean, what did you think of them?

GG: Oh. They were most excellent! The people were very friendly and the scenery was beautiful. And of course the whole area has history dating back ever so long. I even spotted some dogs on the Dalmation coast.

LO: What other projects do you have on the go?

GG: Well, as you gknow, I’m a huge fan of the Gnaden Band of the RCN. I’m working with them to develop a growth-ray that can be used to zap the members of the Band and enlarge them to ten times their gnormal size.

LO: Why would you want to do that?

GG: For that Big Band sound, of course.

LO: I see.

GG: I’m also thinking of investing in the eider feather business, but I’m worried that might just get me down.

LO: Well Gnaval Gnome, thank you for your time; do you have any final observations for our readers?

GG: Remember to check out Defence on the Dock at Ogden Point on Sunday 30 September! And take a look at my page on the Facebook! And I’ll just add that I hate peer pressure, and you should too!