Gnaval Gnome Gnabbed!


The gnasty rumours are true: the Gnaval Gnome has been gnome-gnapped, and is currently being held by a gnefarious faction of gne’er-do-wells who operate under the name “Joe Gnapper”.

On Saturday Jan. 14 while attending a social event in one of the messes, the Gnaval Gnome was overpowered and transported to an ungknown location.

His friends waited gnervously for word of his status, and later found it in the form of a Facebook post showing the Gnaval Gnome bound and blind-folded in the back seat of a gnondescript sedan, along with a ransom demand. Subsequent photos released by Joe Gnapper’s Facebook page show the Gnaval Gnome in apparently good condition. The photos suggest the Gnaval Gnome is being held at some sort of air-related location, perhaps an RCAF base or somewhere similar.

Gnaval Gnome supporters have made a plea to the gnome gnappers to treat the Gnaval Gnome gnicely, and to provide him with his unique dietary gneeds, including medicinal mugs of moose milk, soup every day at 10 a.m., weiner supreme, steak on Thursdays, and gnaval clam chowder on Fridays.  Additionally, attempts have been made to contact a Liam Gneeson and to use his “very particular set of skills, skills acquired over a very long career”.

At this time, every effort is being made to secure the return of the Gnaval Gnome, and authorities are spreading their gnet ever wider.

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